I'm pleased with how quickly the treatment seemed to go by. I'm thankful
that Cliff was able to take me to and from, bringing me delicious
chickeny salad goodness for lunch. All evening has been spend in
contemplation. I suspect that my preexisting HIV infection could be to
blame for my testicular cancer. It's very hard not to blame myself at
times, although I do realize it doesn't do any good. If I could change
just one thing it would be my health. I would like nothing more than to
stick around and live a normal healthy life with those I love, to watch them smile and be happy is the only thing that gives me any real happiness. I don't
desire riches or fame. Those things are nice but unnecessary for happiness. In most cases, it truly is the choices we make that allow us
to fully render happiness in the future. I'm still very hopeful, but if I
died tomorrow I would die thankful for having lived at all.
I'm home from my first session of chemotherapy. An IV was started around 8:30am and premeds were administered mainly for nausea and hydration. Soon after that, I saw Dr.Ross. Everything he told me sounded good except that he wants to have a cat scan every 3 months. I have only had 1 cat scan and the iodine injection made me feel like my insides were drowning and my veins were on fire. It was short, but intense enough to deter me from accepting the idea of one every 3 months, not to mention the cost and lack of insurance.
Once the chemotherapy was started, I didn't feel a thing. I was surprised at how fine I felt. There are 3 drugs throughout the day, by the 3rd I did notice a few things. I was frequently having to pee although I not had enough to drink to compensate for what drained out in the bathroom. I grew pretty tired which I blamed on my lack of sleep at first. I sat in that same chair for treatment until about 4pm. A very lengthy stay indeed. After leaving I did get a slight soar throat and it became apparent that the fatigue was related to the chemotherapy.
Today Cliff was my fateful chofer. Tomorrow I will be graced by the presence of my awesome friend Bohdan Chaffee, whom I refer to simply as Boh.
Chemotherapy overview:
I'm home from my first session of chemotherapy. An IV was started around 8:30am and premeds were administered mainly for nausea and hydration. Soon after that, I saw Dr.Ross. Everything he told me sounded good except that he wants to have a cat scan every 3 months. I have only had 1 cat scan and the iodine injection made me feel like my insides were drowning and my veins were on fire. It was short, but intense enough to deter me from accepting the idea of one every 3 months, not to mention the cost and lack of insurance.Once the chemotherapy was started, I didn't feel a thing. I was surprised at how fine I felt. There are 3 drugs throughout the day, by the 3rd I did notice a few things. I was frequently having to pee although I not had enough to drink to compensate for what drained out in the bathroom. I grew pretty tired which I blamed on my lack of sleep at first. I sat in that same chair for treatment until about 4pm. A very lengthy stay indeed. After leaving I did get a slight soar throat and it became apparent that the fatigue was related to the chemotherapy.
Today Cliff was my fateful chofer. Tomorrow I will be graced by the presence of my awesome friend Bohdan Chaffee, whom I refer to simply as Boh.
Much love best buddy! <3
ReplyDeleteMathew you are wise beyond your years. Thank you for sharing your most personal journey. I for one am inspired by you...love you sweetie.
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