Smiley Day

In a grand turn of events I was able to get my nausea medication free though the Ryan White program. If not for that I would be risking dehydration and risking some very life threatening side effects. Such a relief. I also found a place to do labs for cheaper. Still no luck with the expensive lung test they need but I will get it somehow. This was my first full day without Chemotherapy. No premeds, no IVs, no cold teal death chairs. The night was hard to sleep through. I was fine until the evening when I got fatigued and a little nauseous. I took 2 of those pills and laid in bed. All through the night I felt as if my brain stem was being tapped by radio frequencies. It was a flickering electrical pulse of some kind. It was quite bothersome, it made me feel very offset.

In the morning I felt very disoriented and dizzy. Cliff and I ended up going to Target to stock up on healthy foods. Once I got out of the bed I was alright. On the way home from Target I felt very emotional. I'm not sure if it is the chemotherapy or just the sad realization and reflection unto what is happening to me. I think it's a combination of the two. I just felt at that moment all of the gravity weighing upon my shoulders. My eyes were heavy with the pressure of my own tears behind them but I was careful not to let even one through.

After we unloaded the groceries, it was time for Cliff to go to work. I invited Boh to come swimming and we did just that. We watched a movie (Smiley) while the sun set a bit before venturing to the pool. I didn't want the UV rays to murder my vulnerable chemo skin. I was surprised at how easy it was to swim in the pool. I didn't feel over exerted. I got out feeling a bit weaker, but it was very doable and enjoyable still.

I have been getting a lot of help from my family and friends during all of this. I have to send a shout out to you all, I wouldn't be dealing with this at all so well if it weren't for the love and support.

<3 Mat

MAT