Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Day 3

Today was not without it's obstacles, but I did get over the Wednesday hump rather smoothly all things considered. Still very minimal progress with medicaid and getting my health insured, but not for lack of effort. I did make phone calls, which mostly lead to brick walls. I did reapply for medicaid in a futile attempt to get the ball rollings. My next plan of action is to go directly to Social Security and speak with a social worker.

Chemotherapy it self went well today. So far the side effects are minimal, although I do lose a lot of energy and my heart is quick to beat rapidly. I'm more distraught by the emotional Tilt-A-Whirl I'm on. The uncertainty of the future and the lack of control I feel I have on it. I can't say for sure what I should be doing. I can listen to the doctors whom only see me as a paycheck. In fact, they only want to help me if I can pay. I also have reputable people in my ear as well as other resources telling me that doctors are not being honest about everything. I reluctantly believe them and have an uneasy suspicion that there is more than just a coincidence to my very sudden cancer case, only a year after starting HIV medication. I was otherwise completely healthy in every way. I have to say it is quite the coincidence.

What kind of world do we live in when we can't have faith in anything without fear of anterior motives from disingenuous governments and organizations that pretend to care. The science of cancer is much less important than the politics of cancer.

Alas, that kind of thinking can get me into panic mode. My only plan now is to take what doctors say and a bit form the holistic side as I stand firm in this battle. As dramatic as it may sound, it is 100 times that in my mind. This is my life on the line and I'm only 23. Help is not readily available as I once thought, but I do have family and good people around me. They know who they are and I love them for them. Regardless of where this tragic mess meanders, I will be grateful. I intend on getting through this and living while loving my life to the best of ability.


After chemotherapy Boh and I went to the park!

The following are pics of Boh and I having carefree fun on the swings after because we can do that:














No comments:

Post a Comment